Friday, August 13, 2010

Wrinkled Like Me: A Descent Into Old Age

With the bloody holes in my mouth slowly clotting and reclotting, I was told not to do anything that could raise my blood pressure and cause me to bleed out. In my imagination this excluded power tools and rock music, so I decided to invest my time in a new craft and a new artistic medium normally reserved for the geriatric:


Though I can't get myself to mentally pronounce it correctly (screw this English language), I began a few projects in my down time. Though I cannot show my first project, as it's a surprise (shh!) I am proud to present to you my second project of such geek-tastic proportions, I'm giddy with delight.

Have you ever been sitting in lab, waiting for your solution to dissolve, and thought to yourself: I wish there was something that simultaneously kept my head warm, as well as expressed my devotion to scientific research and wet Chemistry?

I present to you, the 250mL Pyrex Erlenmeyer Flask Snow Hat:

I would have made it the top-shelf Corning brand made in Germany, but USA is a lot easier to embroider.

Though the color is too dark, the only blue solution I could think of was Copper Sulfate:

I'm not sure if the molarity is realistic, and was too lazy to calculate it based off of solubilities since it's summer and you can't make me, so I made a guess. It sounded reasonable, and in theory, if you heat anything enough, any molarity is possible. In theory.

Impressive, no? But, wait! It gets even better. Always one to outdo myself, not only is this hat an E-flask of copper sulfate solution, it also comes with a Cimarec Stirring Hot Plate Nape and Ear Flaps:

A close up of the stirring hot plate panel:

And what good is a stirring hot plate without Teflon-coated magnetic stir bar tassels and head doo-dads:

I refuse to admit how much time this took, though I will say I've developed amazing fine motor skills from this exercise. I like this medium, as it forces one to conceptualize everything in terms of simple geometric shapes. Also, I honestly don't see how old people do this all day. After a few hours, my hand would start to cramp. With arthritis, I don't see why this is the activity of choice next to Mahjong, cookie making, and complaining about kids-these-days.

It's a tad too small for my head (which is rather large. I've measured. One-Size-Fits-All hats are a lie), and don't think I'll make much use of it, as geek-arific as it is. That being said, if you really want it, it's yours. Preferably someone at school, so that I don't have to ship it.

I think I'm done with crocheting for now, as I don't think I could physically handle it. I have musical inclinations, and will turn thataway for the next few days. With a few more weeks left in summer, I'm starting to finish up the hundred little projects I've started at various points this summer. Onwards...


  1. !!!! I love it! I am very very impressed at your fine crocheting skills and the awesome science hat you made. This Erlenmeyer flask hat must be one-of-a-kind in the world.

    You look...different in the last picture. I think it's the eyes. Your eyes usually aren't this intense. Also, normally, your mustache is not as pronounced.

  2. I think the next contest should be to guess how many hours it took you to crochet your hat. One guess per contestant and closest guess wins the hat :). What do you think?