Thursday, June 03, 2010

First Day Down, Too Many More To Go

So today was my first day teaching. Aside from a whole morning of confusion, because the people in charge have no idea what they're doing, the experience has left me decidedly against entering lower education as a career choice.

My plans were to conduct the lesson plans posted below. Ha, no such thing was followed. I tried with my first class (Kindergarten tykes), but 35 out of the 50 minutes was spent teaching them how to fold a paper airplane. Of which only 45% successfully folded something other than a ball.

Then, came the class of first graders. First graders are an interesting group, in that they're still young and immature, but they're starting to develop an attitude. After several minutes of yelling, threatening, and physically placing children in chairs, I was able to conduct a short lesson, from which they gleaned that "long and skinny" airplanes flew farther than "short and fat" ones. This mantra would be repeated throughout the day.

The day got progressively better, as the kids got older. I was actually pleasantly surprised by the rising 5th grade group, who knew what the Scientific Method was, used words like "aerodynamic" and talked to me about things like "lift", "wind resistance", and "drag". I have high hopes for them. They also came late in the afternoon and were very sleepy and sedate. I think they were my favorite class of all.

It's 1:30 in the morning, I haven't made lesson plans for tomorrow, and I'm exhausted both physically and mentally*, so I'll make this post short.

Here's some of my favorite quotes of the day:
Student: Are you one of the ones that grows walnuts?
Me: What?
Student: *mumble mumble* walnuts?
Me: I don't grow walnuts.
Student: No, do you grow into a walnut?
Me: ...
Student: Do you grow into a walnut?
Me: No, go sit down and fold you airplane.

Me: What can you tell me about airplanes?
Student 1: The fly.
Me: Okay, what else.
Student 2: Umm, they...they....they fly.
Me: Okay, excellent...what else.
Student 3: I know, I know! They fly.
Me: Okay, let me ask you a different question: What do airplanes look like?
Student 4: They fly.

Student: Mr. Cortez..
Me: No, I'm Mr. Sakimoto.
Another Student: No you're not!
Me: Yeah, actually, I am.
Student: Mr. Cortez?
Me: Sure, fine, what do you want?

Student: Mr. Sakimoto, are you Mrs. Sakimoto's husband?
Me: No, I'm her son.
Student: Oh, that explains a lot.
My Mom: Yeah, I'd never marry him, I could do much better.

*I now understand why people drink.


  1. I hereby heart your mother, Mr. Cortez. That is all. Also, you knew this was coming. You've seen my kids. That's all I've got to say about that. And one more thing, for hot air balloons, you should just do airplanes again using different materials.

  2. Well, I did paper and aluminum yesterday, and I think having them try to fold airplanes again would be a horrible idea. Today might be a more "look what I'm doing, kiddies" day.

  3. Lol, your Mom is funny. And that is a hilarious footnote.