2 Weeks Later: On Cryptex Construction (Resolution)

And after two or so weeks of work, the cryptex is done.

No, the passcode is not my name, nor any of the other things you saw in the previous post. I'm generally pleased with the way it turned out. I put a clear coat enamel on the end caps to protect them from scuffing and getting damaged. I engraved each tumbler with a more or less random 13 letters. I'm pretty happy with the font:

The engraving took a bit longer than I expected, but I think it was worth the effort. I would show you all how it works, but the mechanisms haven't changed since the last update. I"m very pleased with how the endcaps worked out, and they're perhaps my favorite feature. I'd like to try more woodworking projects in the future.

To debrief?
I would like to say I'm never going to build another one, but that would be a blatant lie. Perhaps I won't make one as involved or finished as this one, but I have ideas. I have a way to make the passcodes reset-able, so that the passcode can be changed to your liking, but that is a project for another time.

I would seriously take requests for custom made ones, but I'd have to charge you a ton of money for labor, and ask for your first born child, since the cogs of this machine run on blood, sweat and tears.

I've learned something about myself (as I've been known to do from time to time). I like projects that give me a tangible finished product. I like to be able to hold a paper, a test tube, a cryptex in my hand and say "look what I made".

Other things I learned:
-The correct tools are very important.
-The American Standard System sucks, particularly its use of "nominal" measurements. I advocate an immediate and full conversion to the metric system.
-Though metal has a stoic elegance to it, it is very difficult to work with. I prefer wood. It's a lot more cooperative, and has much more of a naturalist character to it. Plus you can stain it funky colors.
-Rock music is good working music as it blends rather nicely into the sound of power tools.
-Gregorian chanting also works too, as it makes every cut, hammer, and sand feel like you're reforging Elendil's sword, Narsil.
-Cryptex building, with all the pipes and tubes, lends itself well to sexual innuendos.
-Don't huff metal filings.
-Smooth figures are always easier to make than angular ones due to the inherent fudge factor.
-If you try to move a cat from his sunny spot on your workbench, the cat will always win.
-I like bandanas. And bananas, but I already knew that.

So with that first project down, I have a little less than a month for my next. Not sure what I'm doing, though I think it should be something that encourages me to get out of the house, and not ultimately consume what I made. Since I don't have access to my tools during the school year, I think I'll keep building stuff. Any suggestions? Any requests?

In A Different Life: On Chainmaille Construction

I haven't always been a scientist, or even an engineer. In a different life, I was a historian, particularly interested in military history, and medieval studies. In fact, I originally applied to Yale as first a History major, then as a Music major, then finally Chemistry. Oh how times have changed.

As per Anthony's request, I decided to whip up some chainmaille after lunch and before I started working on the cryptex. Here's the results.

So, no, I didn't make this today. I made this a number of years ago just for fun. Both the shortened hauberk and coif are made out of 16 gauge galvanized steel (hand wound and cut, of course. Medieval people didn't have power tools). The trim on the coif is made from 16 gauge copper wire. It took about a month to make, and cost, I'd say, around $50 in raw materials, which is pretty good. My only regret is that the chainmaille is made of just butted rings, rather than riveted ones. The complication comes from using galvanized wire, which is covered with a zinc oxide sacrificial layer to prevent corrosion, and when you anneal the rings for riveting, the coating sublimes and turns into a variety of toxic gases (http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/englishhtml/z3705.htm). Chemistry!

And contrary to popular belief, chainmaille isn't meant to guard against cutting. Most gauges used (even historically) were too thin to prevent a sword blow if stretched taught. Chainmaille is supposed to hang, like a curtain. The hanging absorbs the blows of blunt force, like ancient Kevlar (Physics!) since it's much harder to treat internal bleeding than an external laceration (Biology!). Yeah, this is still a Science and Engineering blog, don't worry.

Huzzah!

We're (more than) Halfway There. Whoa! Livin' On A Prayer

God bless Bon Jovi for trying to make "there" rhyme with "prayer". Granted, I've done a lot worse (see previous post).

I've been working off and on on this cryptex project, and have made some real headway. Rather than having me explain it, I'll let.....me, explain it:



The seal I used to emblazon/brand my endcaps with are the latest find of my grandpa's tools. He would always mark his tools with that, but I could never find the branding iron itself. After some digging and sadly annihilating a family of cockroaches, I found it. (Note: butane torches are not only good for making creme brulee, they can also make metal very very hot. [Note: very very hot metal is, well....very very hot.])

And since we're nearing the end of this project, we'll look towards future ones. I have a ton of lamellar plates left over from my Military History Club days, and have considered making a sweet suit of armor for myself. It would also be a great thing to have for ComicCon. ComicCon next year, anyone?

I also, for some time now, have been playing around with home made instruments. I have a bunch of pvc flutes that sound very nice, and have been looking into other materials. After eyeing some copper tubing at City Mill, I think a nice pennywhistle would make a nice afternoon project.

My other, more involved option, would be to make rolled fondant and try my had at cake decorating. I've been researching recipes, and think it's pretty manageable. Who knows, if I get really good at this, people will get some sweet birthday/holiday/end-of-exams/really-tough-exam/what-the-heck,-it's-Tuesday cakes in the future.

And then there's always the option of teaching myself programming, which would free me from having to take the class in the spring, and die. But a month isn't a lot of time for such a thing.


We shall see.


tomorrowandtommorrowandtomorrowcreepsonatthispettypace

In Memoriam: Hasta La Vista….Vista.

~~~~~~~~~~

For since you've been my one and only, true,

I've grown accustomed to your buggy ways.

That you have flaws, not quirks, is nothing new,

This partnership has seen some better days.

My friends all say that you're no good for me,

That I could do much better for myself.

A perfect 10 is no reality,

But you're no 7, bottom of the shelf.

The Window 'tween os now comes to an end,

For you give me no reason to stay true.

This latest virus that you did not mend,

It isn't me, it really is just you.

And though she seems the same, she shares your styles,

At least she lets me see her hidden files.

---KKS 7/25/10

Sometimes All You Need Is Little Rubbing: On Cryptex Construction (Part 3 of ...More Than 3)

Sometimes all the problems in life can be fixed with a little time, perspective, and a bunch of sand paper (60 grit, nothing finer). After grinding down all the rings and imposing my iron-fisted rule on those that would not fall in line, all the rings now fit. And so we're back on track:

So we're getting close to finishing. The end caps need to be carved out, and stained. I have a lovely dark, dark mahogany stain left over from a previous project that should turn out nicely. After I assemble and glue everything together, all that's left is final decorating and engraving the tumblers. I was originally upset that after wire-brushing the metal tumblers, there is still a dark grey patina left over. However, this will make the engraving (which should reveal the bright silver metal) pop, which should give a nice effect. I have also reduced the 7 tumblers to 6, for both logistical reasons and stylistic. I came up with a new passcode that is more symbolic, and will lend itself to a better riddle, and perhaps a crossword, if I can manage it.

~~~~~~~~~~

I also had a little botulism scare. I had been joking that I might get botulism from the Yale Fruit Bars I made yesterday. I actually became a little paranoid, and couldn't sleep for a while. Psychosomatic symptoms ensued. The thing is, that the fruit did taste a little funny, and were all mushy when I opened the can (they were over a year old). Now, baking it should take care of the bacteria, but I tasted a bit before I baked it (I had to). I don't think there's actually a real danger, as the last botulism case from commercial food products happened in the 70's. Aside from that, the CDC reports an average of 25 cases nationwide every year, which is not a lot. Though, I have always been told I'm special.

~~~~~~~~~~

So I would have never thought I'd reach point in my life where I'd have something to say about running, but now I do. After running mostly every night this Summer, I've discovered a few things:

-I've finally reached a point where what I consider to be running is what everyone else considers to be running.

-I like to run at night because it makes me feel like I'm running faster for some reason. It also makes me less self conscious.

-Play scary music while you're running through dark, deserted neighborhoods, like Enter Sandman by Metallica. It makes you run faster. ABBA also makes me run faster, for a completely different reason.

-I cannot run downhill. It feels weird and I end up tripping and hurting myself. I much prefer skipping, while humming this song to myself.

-Along those lines, even though the music is loud and you can't hear the world, they can definitely hear you.

-Runners in Hawaii are very friendly. Whenever I'm out, I see many other people also running around my neighborhood. I don't know any of them, but they always smile and wave to me and are generally friendly. It's only in passing, but there seems to be some unspoken club I've unwittingly joined.

-I get why deer freeze when they get caught in the headlights of a car. It's very disorienting.

-Those high-tech Under-Armor type shirts that are supposed to wick away sweat from your body have an upper limit: A breaking point, past which it seems to reverse its functionality and actually suck moisture in from the atmosphere.

-Stretching is actually important. Who knew?

-Nipple chaffing is real. And it is painful.

Beware The Puffy Can: On Culinary Mimicry

Today was a resting day. Which meant I got a lot of things done.

Of interest: I decided to do a bit of gastronomic experimentation. The Yale Dining Halls every once in a while have these fruit bar things: a layered sort of bar dessert with some sort of fruit middle layer. I really like them, and I even stock up whenever they have them to devour over the ensuing week. Today I decided to see if I could recreate them.

In theory they're pretty simple: some sort of crumble/cookie/pie crust dough, pat into the pan, lay on the filling, and top with another layer of the dough.

I decided to base the dough portion on something that resembles a shortbread/sugar cookie. One feature of Yale's bar things is that they mix rolled oats into the dough to give it some texture and health benefit. It just so happens that there's a big container of raw rolled oats in my house after a brief foray into eating oatmeal daily to try to lower cholesterol (not mine). As such, there's a ton left, and they're beginning to get old.

Here's the loose recipe I came up with:

Yale Fruit Bars (Ver. 1.0)

Dough:
-1 cup all-purpose flour
-1 cup rolled oats
-1/4 cup granulated sugar
-3 tbs. honey (I used clover. I honestly can't tell the difference between honeys.)
-4 tbs. melted unsweetened butter
-a splash of vanilla (or however much comes out when you bump your arm against the refrigerator)
-some cinnamon (or however much it takes to make the dough look like the skin of a teenager with bad acne. The speckling, not the color.)

Fruit Filling:
-1 can cling peaches
-2 tbs. granulated sugar

or

-1 can fruit pie filling (Strawberry had the most recent expiration date. A little over a year ago.)

Combine all the dough ingredients into a bowl. Preferably one just slightly too small for all the ingredients, causing you to spill most of it on the counter. The final consistency should feel like really dry play-dough, crumbly, but able to be pressed into a ball. Divide dough mixture in half. Press half of the mixture into a 9x9 baking pan. Bake the bottom layer of the bars at 350F for 20 min until light/medium brown. Test how hot the oven is by tapping the metal rack with your hand. Don't believe the oven thermometer. The machines are trying to deceive you.

To prepare the peach filling, drain all syrup from the peaches, and combine with sugar in a food processor. The final consistency should be like baby food. Also make sure to use a can of peaches two years past its expiration date. I've always been told that as long as the can isn't puffy, it isn't botulism. Use pie filling as is. Spread a thin layer over the bottom layer (somewhere between icing a cake and buttering toast. About 3mm for you quantitative folks). Place back in the oven and bake for another 10 minute to let the fillings set up. Remove from oven and press top layer of dough onto the fruit filling. Return and bake until medium brown, around another 20 minutes.

Here's the finished product:

Some thoughts. Not bad for a first attempt. It wasn't un-tasty, it just fell short of recreating the Yale fruit bars.
Things to improve:
-The bake time is absolutely ridiculous. Not baking something for an hour. Cranking up the heat next time. As Aunty Marialani says,you can either bake the chicken at 850F for 1 minute, or 5F for 4 days. Love Aunty Marialani, made the day much much better. You all need to watch the whole thing. (Also, this one, also from Rap Reiplinger).

-The oats should be toasted prior to baking.

-Not sure if the sugar/shortbread cookie base is the best. Perhaps I'll try something more crumbly along the lines of the topping to Apple Brown Betty. Brown sugar instead of white. Also might try a pie crust base as well. Since I plan on toasting before, I might try a granola type base as well.

-Also, the ones at Yale have shredded coconut in the dough as well.

-I don't think the butter is the right shortening. I want something a little crispier. Sub a combination of margarine and canola oil for the butter to play around with texture.

-Need to work on the fruit filling. Will try some sort of jam or preserve. Preferably one that isn't 2 years expired. If I die tomorrow, it was the food poisoning. There's a sample of the offending pastry in my oven. Test it. Find out what killed me. Find a medium, and relay the results of the analysis. I'd be curious as hell (or heaven, as it were). If I just get sick, you'll all hear about it in graphic detail.

Futility and Frustration: On Cryptex Construction [con't]

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse.
-Coldplay

It has been a very frustrating last few days.

I've worked very had and have very little to show for it. What should have been an easy two day project is soon becoming like a part time job. I've probably put in 6-7 hours a day since Friday when I began this, and have accomplished much less than I would like to have at this point.

The problems began when I tried to cut metal. Remember those nifty rings I had the last post? Those were meant to be the tumblers. My plan was to simply cut a channel in the ring, there by allowing the pins to pass through, and boom, cryptex. I have a Dremel, which is a wonderful rotary tool, with many different attachments. However, none of them were really suited to cut the amount of metal I intended. After destroying most of my Dremel attachments, and realizing that grinding down metal makes it very very hot, I gave up. I went to the hardware store to price the metal cutting bit I actually needed, and decided not to sink $25 into this project for a diamond saw blade.

So I had a problem. My tumblers could not do more than look pretty, which was fine by me. However, this did mean I had to scale everything back one tube size. This meant I had to find a tube that could either fit in the smallest tube, or one that could fit in the space between...I ran through many options and permutations.

I finally settled on finding a tube that could fit in the smallest one, downsizing everything. But where to find such a tube? I spent the better part of Sunday searching my house, yard, garage, and neighborhood for a tube the right size. It became an obsession. The Monday after was bulk garbage pickup, which meant people were bringing out broken furniture, refrigerators, etc. to be disposed of by our lovely City and County workers. I'll admit I dug through what some might consider garbage. After several hours of searching, sticking pipes into holes and other pipes, fearing I need a Tetanus, I went home defeated.

A brief digression. I've been running in the evenings throughout this summer as some misguided attempt to be healthy and whatnot. Not the point. During these runs, I've discovered something rather surprising. I don't know my neighborhood as well as I thought I did.

Now, we've been living in this house for the 15 going on 16 years (cue the Sound of Music), before which we lived less than a mile away, and some intervening years we spent in Palolo Valley, which is a stone's throw away. And for the most part, I know where things are in Kaimuki and towards Kahala, and I can recognize most houses and landmarks. But in a recent run, I ventured into an area I had never seen before, maybe 10 blocks from where I live. It was a rather nice area (which is probably why I've never been there), and reminded me a little bit of the game Morrowind (which is fun if you have the patience to spend literally hours traveling between cities. Hooray for quick travel in Oblivion). I started feeling rather adventurous, and rather dangerous, which is a nice feeling when you're on an adrenalin high. So I decided to explore a little more.

In Kaimuki, there's a fire house nestled into the this big hill that once used to be an `imu (a sort of underground oven where Hawaiians cooked stuff. Think of a surf and turf clam bake, minus the surf). This is also how Kaimuki got it's name, as Ka means "the", `imu is the oven thing, and ki is the ti leaves that they wrapped the food in for cooking. This is also apparently where King Kalakaua had his ostrich farm. Anywho, at the top of this hill/oven is a little mini park that truly exists for no reason. I had remember going up there as a little kid, and finding it rather unimpressive, so I was curious to see if anything had changed.

Now, I might not make the best decisions in the world, I'll admit that. But I'm getting better. As I was walking up the to the park (it started with a P. Hawaiian names, can't remember most of them), it occurred to me how stupid this idea was. It was pretty dark (I think I went out around 8). I had left my phone and wallet at home (since they make running harder) and just had my iPod. Considering bums, hobos, and hooligans like to hang out at parks at night, I realized that I was sort of walking into the opening of a Law and Order episode (the regular one. Hopefully not an SVU one. No.). But I was curious, and I figured if anything happened, the would probably only take my iPod, rough me up a little (or a lot), and then I'd have an interesting story to tell.

At the top, I found what I expected. Although it was lovely, much better than I remember, I couldn't help but notice the rather shady looking characters hanging out just beyond the reach of the lamp light. It was hard to tell anyone was there, save for the smoke that would occasionally puff into the cone of light. It smelled like pot. I also noticed what looked like a makeshift tent propped up against the side of some electrical shed thing. More smoke. I didn't care for the cackling coming from the darkness, so I turned around and left.

Back to cryptex. I'll save you all my frustration, as I'm sure there's more to come. After shaving down what I would have to reckon as 1/32" from a PVC pipe I ended up buying, all the pipes seemed to fit. Everything looked promising. Here's a look at the mechanism of the cryptex, exposed:

Pretty much all I had left to do at that point was to attach the metal ring coverings to hide the grooves in the tumblers, and install end caps. This is where today's little dose of frustrations popped up. The tumblers were technically too small for the metal rings, as PVC likes to shrink and contract when you cut it axially (yeah, I didn't know this either). So I had to install plastic shims into each ring to decrease the effective inner diameter. All that was left was to super glue metal ring to PVC tumbler.

However, at some point in the drying process, the ring shifted, causing it to become unaligned to the central axis of the cryptex. This means that there are now awkward gaps in 4/7 of the rings. I have many options, none of which I like. I could grind down the metal to make it fit. I could grind down the PVC to do the same. I could also soak the whole thing in acetone, remove all the pieces and start again. I could also make it a 3 ring cryptex, instead of 7.

I think I will either record some music or cook tomorrow. Both are good options. I've been collecting a bunch of weird instruments I can play to varying levels of proficiency. I won't spoil it, but I'm looking at a Sino-Hawaiian fusion. It should be interesting. On the cooking front, I've been watching Ace of Cakes, and have been inspired. Perhaps I'll work on my crepe recipe. Many options. It's only Thursday.

I also need better tools. The tools I have are more suited for structural construction. House building, foundation laying, that sort of thing. They don't really work for the fine detailed work I'm aiming for. The one exception is my Dremel. However, I've realized I don't have the most skilled hands in the world, and have much to learn. Perhaps if I had better tools, a chop saw, a lathe, a router, etc., this project would be easier. But, I still hold that handcrafted work holds a special charm. And so I'll soldier on, wherever that may lead.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. This project has left me a bit dispirited. I think I need a mental break. But I will return, for I take great pride in all the work I do, and will not let this project turn out sub par. I've been watching the movie Young @ Heart which is about the senior citizen choir that tours and sings contemporary songs. They do a cover of Coldplay's "Fix You". And as the song says, cryptex, I will try to fix you.